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cinema cinema:english

As The Swivel Chair Spins : Bohemian Rhapsody

Lazing on a sunday afternoon feat. a headache

My decision to watch bio-pic after another is the cause and the effect is a splitting headache.

First there was NTR (which I have written about), next there was Manikarnika (which I don’t think I will write about), followed it by streaming Sanju (which I will surely write about, yes it is drafted) and now Bohemian Rhapsody. Each movie has in their own way added to this headache.

Is this the real life?

(insert either Bryan Singer or Dexter Fletcher here)’s bio pic of Freddie Mercury by way of bio-pic of the music band Queen (whose song “We Will Rock You” has been played at all student driven school cultural events in Chennai) is quite a mess.

Like all student-driven ‘cultural’ events, Bohemian Rhapsody too is without guidance but tries to make it up with enthusiasm; an orphaned director chair is just one of the problems, a familiar screenplay constitutes the rest.

Rami Malek plays Freddie Mercury; a youth with a buck-tooth who feels that he represents the fringe-the outsiders and naturally wants to make music for them. Opportunity happens and he teams up with a dentist-drummer Roger Taylor, astrophysicist Brian May and one more guy to form Queen.

The makers of the movie however did not realize that during the phase of life often referred to as youth, most of the people undergoing this phase feel they are the fringe.

Testimony to this misunderstanding is that (in the movie and in real life) Queen actually becomes a mainstream band which attracts millions of followers, some of whom carried the tradition of playing “we will rock you” in cultural events to this seaside city of boredom aka Chennai and that is how I got to know of the song. (oh I did mention it before, becoming aged person you see)

I’m perfectly fine, when movie-makers force fit the reasons for making the bio-pic but I am pained when these reasons change during the course of the movie. It doesn’t really help if these are just put by way of flat dialogue.

I’m perfectly fine, if history is distorted to tell a good story, because I understand that real lives (even of the popular) are boring while adapting for film and needs drama addition.

I also understand a bio-pic is not a history lesson or an authorized biography, but these flights away from reality in Bohemian Rhapsody do not make it an exciting watch especially when everything is nicely tied towards the end. Quite boring, yes.

Their Finest Hour

But the last six song set at Live Aid 1985, that the movie was building towards all along compensate.
Malek and co recreate every step of the band. A concert experience within a movie and I want more of that!

Nothing Really Matters To Me

Yes, also the shocking thing is that this movie has been nominated for a whole lot of awards and sure to secure the best actor for Malek at the Academy. The movie also became the highest grossing musical bio-pic of all time. Did you read that with a straight face, because I did while writing.

In a way comforting to realize that ineptitude too is rewarded in the world.

PS

For another story of a poor bucktoothed song writing boy who feels that he is unloved, do catch STR’s Vallavan.

For a better scene of lovers playing ON and OFF with bedroom lights watch K Balachander’s Ek Duje Ke Liye

Lady Gaga who happens to take her stage name from the Queen song Radio Ga Ga (also my favourite song, sorry we will rock you boys) is in the running for best actress for a Star is Born. Ah a co-incidence!

Categories
cinema cinema:tamil FRS

FRS: AAA

AAA1 copy

 

So, you guys are quite familiar with what FRS is right? Right?

We have no idea why we keep asking this, but it cuts the cackle and come to the osses’.

Yes, that is a phrase.

It is a phrase like how AAA is a movie.

+500: This movie got made, absolutely. Like if you are screenwriter, which means you are also the director here and if you walk up to a financier and say that this is going to be my movie, we don’t know; maybe there a lot of risk hungry financiers out there or let’s just call this Avant-garde art film( we have no idea what it means, but if you are in a written quiz this phrase will fetch you part points somewhere), because none of us are equipped to even classify what AAA is.

What is AAA? Let’s find out seekers of the truth, let’s find out.

-5: above phrase has repetition, to add effect.

-389.108: narration irritations, like seventy years of movie making and people can’t kick this habit and in AAA we don’t even know who is narrating, some old fellow somewhere in dubai etc, the whole film is narrated in his POV but then again scenes are not written from his POV which means that we are shown things that he has no way of knowing, this is simple boss, why should we keep saying these things. Who is this narrator guy anyway? Troubling.

Just start with something like you guys know what FRS is right? Right? People who know will follow, others will find out, if they want.

-10: Dubai

-25: If hero goes to Dubai he will become a Don only (not oxford don, underworld don)

This is of course an extension of the rule, if hero goes to X location, he will become an underworld don only. No other occupation is worthy of the Tamil movie hero, he is either simpleton farmer, urban agitator or underworld don.

He protects the masses in all cases. Of course, gets the girl also.

Introducing let’s blame it on Godfather clause, ever since Coppola’s movie came out, every other filmmaker thinks it is the best profession for mass hero which results in over romanticising of illegal activities. Like have u guys seen Goodfellas or not?

-15: Madurai

If hero is from Madurai he will not be veterinary doctor, he will be ‘veritanama killer’ only, also obviously, he will work for a don there, like not even freelancing.

-30: Movie made with the assumption that even killing a life is justifiable, as long it is done by a hero.

+50: Hero syndrome: In AAA hero’s friends believe that Madurai Michael is special, but example of his speciality is ever displayed, yes he kills people for living, but then friends be like “Wow da dei super da, semma da”.

In real life, real friends assess you and bluntly put out your lack of talent in stuff out in the open.

Like how our friends tell us all the time that we suck at writing, but we continue to, maybe we should get some cinematic friends who praise even the shite that we write.

Nevertheless, this is becoming too emotional for us.

-10: Hero’s friends have no reason to be alive expect to sing praise of the hero.

Update to the reader: 500 words and we haven’t even come to the opening song sequence yet

We try and improve our vocabulary once in a while, like hey, we are writers you know and the new word we are using here is: demure.

-12: Demure lady falls in love with demolishing hero trope. Also, if you are contract killer in Madurai, you have enough time to do romance and all. Must be good profession.  But no work from home option available since it is an on the road job. Hmm.

+50: Opening song, hero claims that he is no one without us. (not the Laureate, us here refers to the audience at the large). Which is true because we buy tickets.

-17: Why will a town celebrate a contract killer, who like weekly kills one of their own is a big question that needs answering. Unless of course Madurai Michael and STR are used interchangeably.

-25: Heroine’s father portrayed like a stupid man who has a ‘thing’ for switches, the sad state of heroine’s father is a sorrow song in the history of tamil cinema.

Notice how Y Gee Mahendran has Bhiarava wig.

Everybody has a wig in Madurai, hair raising city.

-10: Mouth to mouth resuscitation which can bring back a life in emergencies is used for comedy effect

-10: Something something happens and we end up with an old STR who is an ex-underworld don but now in Chennai feeding pigeons under the alias Ashwin Thata.

Yes, really.

<Insert Interval Block here>

 

-12: Thata means not really thata, Simbu looks more like middle aged only, but I guess at this point in the movie they don’t really care.

-51: failed prosthetics is failed only. Gurunathar Michael Westmore will not be happy.

+34: Ashwin Thata wears good clothes that even IT employees don’t get to wear on fun Fridays.

If you don’t know fun Fridays, then you are better off not knowing.

+5: Tammanna aka Tammy plays a social worker who life mission is to bring happiness to the lives of elders.

+6: Since Tammy is doing this social service, we hope this will be followed by millions of youth

+11: Heavy duty Tammy dancing, not Devi level though

-57: All songs whenever, wherever, most mimic STRs previous films, tune setting everything

+5: veteran Nilu calling up STR and addressing him as Machi. LOL

Suddenly Tammy & thata become expert painters of portraits, when and where did they learn this art, do underworld dons go to summer camps with kids to learn water colors?

Interesting questions, no answers

A repenting ageing don, seeking to colour the rest of his life by joining a summer painting class. Now that’s a movie there. Go make it,  ideas are not only bulletproof, here we give it for free.

-91: Director thinks mere presence of Mottai Rajendran and Kovai Sarala will make us laugh like anything, like they need to do something hai na?

+100: Director gives three to four movies for the price of one, in fact AAA is an assemblage of all STR films put together, there is a monologue like VTV about love, there is the age difference love matter from Vallavan, there is the I will do anything for my friends thingy also from Vallavan, there is the “Dei all girls will ematify boys” from Manmadan, heck there is even a recreation of Thallipogadey from AYM with Mottai Rajendran and Kovai Sarala.

The last bit is a must watch for sophisticated GVM fans.

Yes, all of this is there in this one movie, in fact all of this happens in the second half which means that this movie has taken controlled randomness to a different level.

You know something is going to happen, but you don’t know what, but you can guess it is from an earlier STR film.

AAA itself is an existential film where STR lays out all his glories and worries right before the audience and asks them to choose what path he must take, it is really deep that way.

-56: Three four fights happen, but we didn’t really get what was happening

-26: Two hours into movie and director cannot decide if the movie is romance, gangster or comedy

-71: Tammy thinks (or director wants tammy character to think) Rajni+Kamal=STR (actual line, not extrapolated by FRS fact checking team)

-34: Hero spends two minutes explaining to everyone the ill effects of drinking.

Starts drinking next second

+68.91: Thikku Siva LOL Spoilers LOL

-145: General discourse on how boys and how girls are….yeppa yawn

<Insert cue for part two>

<Yes there is more>

Until then it is goodbye from

THE FRS Team

Subam

Vanakkam

Categories
cinema cinema:tamil Uncategorized

FRS: Accham Yenbadhu Madamaiyada(AYM)

aym2

Hi

So we all know what FRS is right? right?

-213.33333: Narration.

It ain’t a GVM movie if it doesn’t have narration. STR in Auro 3D

-140: Hero is a wastrel, MBA but still a wastrel

+52: Potential rise in the sales of already rising sales of Royal Enfield bikes, because impression-ables will think “Yo man, that’s who I am, a wanderer” which is good for Royal Enfield, but we are kind.

-17: Movie prances around a bit before getting into a “bikes vs babes” song in which hero explains as to why bikes are true love and life of boys are better without them and all this love shizz. Yo! Boys Im a biker bro.

-1.2K: Hero falls in love exactly 2 seconds later.

-320: Absolutely nothing happens in the first half, absolutely. Ok this is how it goes.

Girl and Boy will be in same room as in TV room, we think they might discuss something which could be interesting, but then we don’t hear it. Why?

Narration

Cut to scene with Hero playing carrom with buddies, who does narration again in real time.

Many movies talk about this kind of love, this love in which the interesting bits are left out and we have to, in good faith of the lead actors cuteness believe that they are love.

-5: F.R.I.E.N.D.S

-10: Actual friends who just rally around hero, nothing to speak also.

-63: Like all heroines, here also made to play cute, but since this is a different film here an extra component of ‘elegance’ is added. No one really knows what elegance means, maybe it is best explained by Conjeevarams and FabIndia kurtas.

+80: Heroine and her friend want to be a writer duo who will make scripts for Kollywood, yet director does not utilize this opportunity.

-29: Hero contemplates on going on a bike trip for 300 days before going on one, hero is worse than me in planning, should he be the hero?

-271: And Number One in our Unbelieveability Index: Girl will keep talking to one guy on daily basis for what seems like almost a year but still will not know his name. DEI and this is the biggest suspense in the movie. #yeppa

-90: Road Trippin

-457: In course of Road Trippin, hero knocks on a villagers house to ask for one night stay which they provide, hero then goes into social commentary on how people in villagers have a big heart and cities are filled with narrow minded folks who will buy tickets to movie which will call them narrow minded.

Has the director not heard of stayzilla?

-15: Forced comedy, based on the fact that girl eats a lot, heroine also puts her ‘elegance’ on hold so that she can lend herself to this joke.

-16: Hero washing his face directly from bisleri bottle sequence which aims to be well shot but actually doesn really make sense, because hero has just come out of upscale road themed dhabba which will surely have well maintained restrooms where hero can wash face. These things, I tell you.

-17: when they finally reach kanyakumari, seems they have reached Antartica only, soooo long the road trip also interspersed with 120 songs

+56: Girl and Boy go to lands end to wait for sun to rise. This is key cinematic event because, first time in Indian history of cinema, both characters on screen and in the theatre are waiting, of course for different reasons.

-2: Couple go to Kanyakumari, but do not go to Vivekananda Rock. I mean why wont you?

+32: Director Favorite Alert: It ain’t GVM movie, if it does not feature Kerala.

+15: Movie features Udupi_Manipal for a fleeting second. #rockkit

-20: heroine stands in Honnavar and says she in Maharastra.

-71: To every reviewer who said the first half is breezy romantic. Dei.

Yah Yah now only we are coming to second half.

Raymond Chandler, the pulp fictionist who fought all his later life for the recognition of his genre once said in a screenwriting TEDx, “when in doubt, have a man come in with a gun”

We can infer that the director of this film attended the TEDx

-20: Something something happens, then we find hero with gun.

-45: Gun has more bullets than my office parking lot (see what i did there)

+22: baba sehgal as raging but clueless villain. First time in history of Indian cinema that both audience and villain dont know what is happening on screen, I meant together.

+100: Whenever Baba Sehgal says Aata Maaji Satakli. Three times i think.

+120: Birth of a new style. In the middle of a high octane chase sequence we get to know that the hero actually had learnt to drive in this chase only, this is what we call the ‘make it up while you go in goa’ type of filmmaking. Very meta reference.

-119: Hero becomes more self aware, almost yogic in his self awareness, his narrations become deep messages to the soul that has lost its way and how it must fight back against the universe, if hero had a bigger beard, maybe they would have called him Sadhguru. Heroine is riding pillion, loss of elegance because now in chase mode.

-40: Tom Cruise method acting type of bruising, hero will get cuts and scars on his face which will never affect his handsomeness, in fact these scars enhance the handsomeness. Heroine is still riding pillion. Not commenting on elegance anymore because it is boring for us only.

-2: dei reviewer boy why using handsomeness again and again

+10: Hero’s name is still a suspense at this point in the movie, we are more frustrated than Baba Sehgal but kudos to the director for keeping up the suspense. Surgical Strike on our curiosity.

OoooooOoooooOoooo

+40: Birth of a new style: last ten minutes of the movie seem to be directed by someone else , is this the birth of outsourcing in direction? Who directed the last ten minutes, was it Hari or Suraaj, nation wants to know.

Also heavy narration at this point and Baba Sehgal looking like the most troubled soul on the  planet.

+5: For us for not giving away the suspense and writing such a post.

-900: Movie actually puts 900 days later as subtitle, hence messing up with my arithmetic while i try to convert it to years, movie still does not end in the time take by my stupid mind to do this basic calculation. Movie also uses days as metric in the first half of the film, sometimes it uses years also.

Damn it, why cant you use one standard unit of time. So problematic.

-100: The End.  Hero plans second road trip. Heroine still riding pillion, refraining from commenting on elegance.

-50: Director says movie inspired by a moment in ‘The Godfather’, but director does not mention if it is the Malayalam film or some other film.

Aata Maaji Satakli MAX

All numbers are irrelevant and arbitrary. All spelling and grammar mistakes are intentional, because we dont know grammar only. Semi-colon. LOL;

The FRS team

Subam