CK, MM and somebody else watch the spy comedy called “SPY”
CK got out of the auto, rushed towards the newly laid granite steps of theatre only to be shocked.
CK: What the efff are you doing here?
Well you can’t really blame the usage of the expletive, after all no one expects your writing partner who hurried away for a career break in the US to be standing outside a theatre in Koyambedu.
MM or Moderate Manohar as he is known in certain circles or Mano as he is known in domestic circles looked cheerful to see his partner, but his face also gave away a hint of sadness.
CK: Mod! You look like you have been chucked out of the Chicago Sun Times
Was the first thing CK said to MM.
MM: I’ve been chucked out from the Chicago Sun Times.
CK: What? Why, you don’t need to say that just to make me feel happy.
MM: I’m not, in more ways than one that is the truth, but now I’m back. Took back the job this morning, bargained hard for a raise but chief wouldn’t budge.
CK( now feeling all brotherly) : Typical of Chief! Let’s get cracking now.
MM: We are supposed to meet someone now, we have been assigned to one more writer.
CK: What? Already two’s a crowd, no offense Mod, but three will be the Kumbh Mela, how are we to converge on opinions.
MM: That’s the whole point CK, we are not, the magazine plans to bring out a 360 degree view on film, all our views on it.
Just then when everybody else had retreated into the theatre and only CK, MM and the cleaners who had turned out to be extremely punctual for the next show remained, a motorcycle drove in and from beneath the government imposed helmet emerged a head and that of a woman.
CJ: I was supposed to meet you two here, outside the theatre, chief sent me.
<CJ said to the cleaners>
MM: Hey! It’s not them, it’s us, we are the reviewers here.
<aside> For God’s sake CK please dress better than a domestic help.
CK made an irritating face, but morphed into an adequate smiley for the informal introductions. For sake of integrity we will not describe how CJ looks like.
CK <to MM>: Her? I don’t see this happening
CJ: I heard that
CK and MM are not yet fully aware of CJ’s super hearing as hey bolt to the screen just in time for Mellisa McCarthy’s name beam into prominence from the title sequence of Spy. And so it began.
When the lights came back and the three realised they were the only fellows left in the theatre, apart from the cleaning staff; they decided to utilise this time to discuss what they should be writing about.
The usually “I will not tell my point till prodded” CK was the first to mouth, understandable because CK is usually excited when he witnesses such a film, especially if it a spy pastiche.
CK: I would eat my words if you don’t think this movie is worth your time
MM: I would have thought similarly if only it hadn’t fallen down to the level of fat woman falling down type jokes
CK: Hyeshh! those were funny…<realises CJ’s presence>
CJ: Look I don’t care if you laugh at a woman falling, my question is only if there are enough men falling from motorcycle jokes that irks me…
CK: Well you can’t really be counting the things that we laugh about and in SPY they were just a minimum, we must see it like a bit from America’s funniest videos or something
CJ: It’s not a bit, it is a gag, an easy one at that. Make the woman, run, fall, hit cake on her face
MM: Oh come on, for the sake of comedy
CJ: Let someone try that on you, look guys, I get context and all, this IS comedy and anything goes and over analysis is kindoff banal here and to be true I did think this was funny, but I guess there is something for everyone to laugh at
MM: Apart from the easy jokes, which were sprinkled, I liked that part where the female characters try and establish a connection between themselves, the bumbling detectives, the deputy chief of CIA and the agent, even the villain and the spy, I thought that was really sweet.
CJ: That’s what women do, establish connections, refreshing to see the genre from a different stand point
CK: I love this genre, just everything about it, the trumpets, the silhouette models, the cracking action scenes; the relationship between spy and villain reached dizzyingly different levels of satisfaction, I think to the level between Goldfinger and James Bond is not at all a wrong analogy when you are speaking about Susan Cooper and the villain played by Rose Bryne
MM: Well, odd that you notice the soundtrack, I never got much out of it except of course when compared to Kingsman, which is a movie that we should be comparing a lot too
CJ: Too many spy movies, just too many funny spy movies. But atleast Susan Coop gets the job without any smiling prince ‘aiding’ her, Jason Statham here exactly trying to be that character but failing all the time
MM: I thought he was brilliant, a type of supporting character that doesn’t actually support.
CM nods in agreement.
CK: I don’t think this should be taken in comparison with Kingsman just because it is a spy film, Kingsman was a Bond homage propah spy film, also more of a comment on class. This is a comment on women’s work rights masquerading as a spy comedy.
CJ: I wouldn’t take the women’s work rights angle but probably we should write something about this and Mad Max, something under “Rise of the feminine flicks” or something like that.
MM: The chief might like that. Let’s just say that we love this film, but only various degrees of love.
<MM starts on a tone that resembles lecturing, while CJ and MM make ‘let’s get the hell outta here’ face>
Cleaning Staff: Guys!
All three: Yep, we are leaving
Cleaning Staff: Next time wear distinguishable clothes
<Theatre Door SLAM, roll credits>
CK<pssting to MM>: psst Mod, can I use “a supporting character who actually does not support line?” that was really good.
MM doesn’t know what to say
<And cut to black screen>
The Lowly Laureate 