Tag: captain america

Categories
cinema cinema:english FRS

FRS: Captain America: Civil War

A note on the Fawlty Rating System (FRS)

*Initially thought about in 1934, it came to fruition only in the late 2000s.

*It is the only movie rating system in the universe to be based on a Buddhist scroll that was actually written by an Irish traveller who had been an assistant director in the movie “Birth of a nation”, the scroll was curiously titled “The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari to make a Baahubali”

*The rating system is now named after the Irish Traveller, a small portion of the proceeds from this review will go to a bhel puri vendor in an undisclosed street corner for secret reasons.

*All numbers and words are arbitrary, mostly imaginary. They do not mean anything

A note on the Fawlty Rating System Ends

A second note fearing severe backlash.

Hi, right we acknowledge the fact that comic book fans wouldn’t go crazy over our review of Civil War. No we didn’t read the comic book based on which this movie was made, however good or bad it is, we do not know. The point being, movies are different from comic books and comic book movies are not just for comic book fans. If so these movies wouldn’t gross so much across the world.

People don’t read newspapers only, how will they read comic books? (hehe that’s…never mind)

Although there is a segment and since we are writing this from India, we are likely to be hit/tortured/abused by folk passing off as comic book geeks.

Hi to you all.

There, we have effectively enraged our target segment much before the review.

Now to the FRS.

civilwar1

-249.3: THIS MOVIE SUCKS!

Now, do we have to justify this? It does really.

I mean you have to believe us on this, just like Captain America believes whatever his friend ( who was the antagonist in the prev film, yes under the influence of some secret terror group, but still villain, mind you).

So if you like kill hundreds of people and go tell Cap, who is your friend that you did it under the influence, Cap will forgive you and believe and defend you till the world’s end, because………..urgh this movie sucks.

-1400: The tragedy of Tony Stark/Iron Man

Boss, one character is so cool for three movies in one franchise and suddenly he has like guilt about what he did in last movie and then he starts connecting to his family, dei flower in ear only. Added to this he is separated from Pepper Potts.

This whole MCU was set-up based on the coolness of Tony Stark, so if this had been Iron Man: Civil War, Stark would have been the guy opposing these government regulations.

So in next movie if he is quipping again like usual means, we will punch in face.

-560: One normal guy is able to break the Avengers

Because you know getting some extraterrestrial villain for this was not possible

-90: Girls even if they have super-powers will be confined, because Girls. Boys can roam.

-1.9K: Nobody has really anything to do in this movie, nobody, that is the reason why even Sam Jackson didn’t come, because already so many jobless characters and this Nick Fury anyway jobless.

What will he do?

eg: Vision, even Avengers dont know why he is there, except that he has one stone on his forehead which will turn out to be another franchise maker in some later movie which every fanboi will go “WOWO!” about.

Jeremy Renner as that archer, what he is doing from first avengers movie? If he was honest he should be giving back his salary.

Added to this another new character who will get his own stand alone movie when nobody cares to tell what he is doing in this movie apart from chasing the wrong guy: Black Panther.

-156: Cameos

Cameos are like-able, but if whole movie is just a setup for this Marvel Corporate to set up further movies. Then surely this must be condemned.

This movie is just one big doll assembly, like the GIJOE collection face off that kids do on Sundays. It is cool as a concept, one hero facing off against another, but we and they themselves realize nothing will come off it. (“this is not the true fight”etc)

This movie solely exists to realize the wet dreams of those who dream about Iron Man vs the Cap.

The Cap is so boring here (after a brilliant appearance in Winter Soldier) that he is not the main character in his own movie, Spidey gets more claps.

Every other plot point is an excuse for this big face off which happens in some airport, yeah the graphics and all is great, but so what?

The format of the movie is as follows

Set-up to action sequence.

mid action sequence quipping

post sequence quipping

mock-serious meeting with quipping

set-up to action sequence

mid action sequnce quipping

So you get how this is done

There is absolutely no depth in the new characters and we are expected to carry over the conflicting characteristics of existing characters. Every character speaks like they are in a trailer and not a movie, maybe this is not a movie and just a trailer.

Irritating this is true and I have to pay 120RS for a trailer.

+50: Ant-man is funny, but he is funny everywhere and his inclusion also is forced in what is already a forced fight.

-58: Conveniently doing away with what the story was building up to be

-100: Americanah shizz, Avengers stands for American Revengers only, they have right to attack any country in the pretext of world safety and will get guilt only when pointed out that one black American guy dies when a whole city-state was uprooted, and they say BvsS was a stupid movie.

BvsS at least dealt with issues far greater than a UN Accords which forms the flimsy pretext of this movie.

+786: Jesse Eisenberg who shows how good a villain can be, this MCU has no villain, it thinks it can function entirely on cool characters.

-2500: Yes to us, for previously supporting Marvel movies and trying to make sense of this mind vacating popcorn nonsense, it is time we switched sides, we hate this movie to an extent that it is in fact liberating.

Hate makes us stronger in the bigger scheme of things, these things should stop.

Holy, we should give ourselves even worse points on the FRS scale because we actually did like Age of Ultron.

Sorry we will tread with caution, hereafter.

-1: For every fan who tries to read too much into Marvel films or brush this off as saying it is ‘fun’, no this was excruciating.

-35: City names cover the screen, as if we cannot read “BERLIN'”it seems!

We read books and all, I’m sure we can read a few city names.

-19: Supporting non super hero characters, not supporting and purely unnecessary

-2 :Post credits

 

If this is the best of MCU, then Marvel has very low standards, I’m sure viewers should accept these standards as well.

 

 

Categories
cinema cinema:english Essay

MODERN PROMETHEUS

MODERN PROMETHEUS

 (Or)

Looking at film through Marvel’s Avengers: Age of Ultron

avengers-age-of-ultron-comic-con-14-poster-full-hd

Immaterial as it may be our opinion on this state, the movies that our generation will be associated with will be the comic book movie, three words now very close to my heart.

The comic book movie now, is the film noir of the past, the western of its time, a broad genre defining a certain time and recalling a certain sentiment. Like the above genres that have been mentioned, the comic book movie will surely get its due, but only in the future.

This sudden construction of a pedestal for the comic book movie is because I truly believe that the comic book movie has in fact erased the boundaries between word and visual which is something every great literary adaptation aims to be, comic books being truly the most visual amongst the printed forms of literature. The comic book movie is also accelerator in the fusion of the genres, and this is because of the variety that each comic character offer.

“Man creates his own demons”

Avengers_Age_of_Ultron_68640

In Age of Ultron, Tony Stark fears for the future of the planet and creates a protective force under the hood. Ultron would be A.I enabled Iron Men to be called onto provide eternal peace for our planet, but as we can all guess, this save the world vanity project (TDKR reference done) goes not only out of hand but also turns back on its creator.

If we are looking to track the genetic genealogy of Avengers: Age of Ultron, then it is most certainly Mary Shelley’s gothic classic Frankenstein, only increment action here and there and populate the screen with powerful beings.

Some of the problems that people had with Ultron was that, the movie did not perhaps have a powerful villain, but I found that this movie had more character than its predecessor; because here (Ultron) there is no reason to create a powerful villain to justify and the characters have already been established.

The end is a more relaxed picture, where the intention is not to be blown away by the graphics of it all, but to go on this adventure with this bunch of misfits who are now emotionally charged rather than charged with heroics, and there is the inter-super banter!

Whedon also indulges momentarily into 1950s territory, the super hero movie giving way to over the bar talk between the troubled in-love damsel (Natasha Romanoff played by the super talented ScarJo) and the world weary-cynical-removed hero (Dr. Bruce Banner). A masterstroke of a love track between the noises.

This is the kind of genre inter-operate ability that is interesting for me to watch.

With Marvel trying to impress us with release dates for mega movies in the years to come, an Avengers movie is no longer about why and how the Avengers trounce their enemies, but about the characters, these heroes and their feelings, the setting, the worlds, the words. Action and villains can take the rear.

I was a partial Marvel movie convert after Iron-Man 3 and a fully changed man after the second Captain America flick and it seems I will remain so after Ultron. I hope that these films are seen beyond than what they are intended for, but I am sure it will now be an un-ignorable thing in the recent future, but right now if you go and tell your friend that Avengers:Ultron is about the perils of creativity and questions if man can really play God, super-men in this case, you will probably be chuckled at.

Post Script to Ultron

**** Captain America is amazing! (as if we needed to tell you that, this is also my answer to “which is your favourite avenger?” question”

****Mary Shelley’s 1818 gothic horror novel Frankenstein was subtitled Modern Prometheus as it mirrored the mythical tale, we have smartly made it the title for our Avengers: Ultron piece (we are amazing!). Our subtitle of course is over ambitious, I must confess.

****This piece was written under the utter influence of the Ultron soundtrack, specifically the “heroes” track. Soundtrack composed bby Brian Tyler and Danny Elfman.

**** Most of the times when we say Ultron we mean Avengers: Age of Ultron the movie and not the villain.

Thank you for reading.

Categories
cinema cinema:english

CK AND MM AT THE MOVIES: CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER

CA
Caustic Kumar was trying to chew into a milk chocolate bar as he and Moderate Manohar made their way into the offices of the Lowly Laureate.
The dark shadow of the editor loomed over them so much so that both the writers thought that they had walked into the control room of some secret organisation mostly controlled by the United States.
Editor: Writers at the ready! Submit your works there! <Points to an automaton spell check editor, the writers are nevertheless terrified!>
CK and MM together: we’ve just seen the movie; think we should do some bouncing off each other before we submit anything
Editor: some work ethic you two have! <To a computer> initiate Editor exit sequence. <Beep Beep sounds follow as the editor makes his way outside>
CK and MM together: Peace, at last!
CK to MM: Every time we see a movie, I don’t think you shouldn’t start with “what did you think of it”, it is boring and I’m guessing readers are tired of it.
MM: what readers?
<Both laugh>
MM <takes the serious movie critic on TV voice> Captain America, Marvel’s latest offering in a series of…
CK: they all know that… ok fine, what did you think about it?
MM: absolutely loved it!
CK: well that’s not too moderate; you’re out of character Manohar
MM: Cant you be not sly and agree that we are in agreement?
CK: Well, I loved it too, the more I think about it, the more I like it, proves that this not a wonderment-in-awe movie.
MM: What does wonderment-in-awe mean anyway? <Realises, then hits his forehead>
CK: there you are Manohar, playing Watson again; any basic reader will know what wonderment-in-awe is, even if they don’t, they will make up something for it.
MM: right, before we get into all that, I think this is a brilliant film singularly speaking, as for the whole build up to Avengers 2, I cannot say;
CK: because each stand alone film is being helmed by a different guy and…
MM: exactly
CK: interesting to see how they tried to fit in a 70s type conspiracy thriller into the scheme of things, Captain America being all patriotic and all seems the best Manchurian candidate for the job. It is fun, especially when Robert Redford comes in.
MM: yes I vividly remember you being the only one who whistled when his name came up <tries to sneer, but then thinks it is indecent>
CK: <looks to the ceiling> Yes I’m a man of another time, just like Captain America.
MM: I never took this SHIELD any seriously, thought they should have been called…
CK: UMBRELLA! Manohar this is the third time you have said this and I agree it was funny the first time, but not now
MM: As in an umbrella organisation that brings all these supermen under one roof.
CK: speaking of shields, I think the shield based action in the film was tremendous, also that sound when our hero straps it on his back. Action was really good; maybe it is because I felt the special effects were muted.
MM: Yes, as in I loved Iron Man 3, think some idiot at the Lowly Laureate wrote one glowing review which the editor had no problem with, but on repeated viewings it is just another Shane Black movie with monstrous graphics.
CK: this is what I was trying to put forward in my wonderment-in-awe theory, you never listen!
MM: So I say that we should give more points to Cap for actually having some kindoff story
CK: it had a pretty good story and was funny too; this is not some attempt to force fit but is fitting and we don’t give out points.
MM: So do you feel that we can actually see better Superhero films? Not just the usual originstor-superhero graphic madness thing? I don’t think so
CK: I can’t really say, with all my pumping cynicism I can say that they are after our 120Rs (higher outside TN) but then Marvel has made its money, I think it is past the brute ensemble box office days, hoping Avengers 2 is better.
MM: Ah…Hmm…Okie…that actually meant nothing, now to the characters. Supersonic development for this Chris Evans, I have begun to like him from actually ignoring him in the Avengers.
CK: he is a good actor, too many good moments for him with the winter…
MM: STOP!!!
CK: right, no spoiler clause.
<Both stare at each other for a moment and then begin to discuss the plot in dept and animatedly, luckily for you…yes you we won’t put out all that>
MM: finally…
CK: Captain America: the Winter Soldier is the stand alone that Marvel deserves right now, also the one it needs
MM: wait, wait, what about the Edward Snowden based surveillance-morality plot and the verily guessable twists.
CK: the surveillance plot was watchable only the twists weren’t, also Iron Man could have solved this problem within two minutes or so.
<Computer in the voice of JARVIS, ‘your conversation has been recorded for our internal audit purposes, sir’>
CK: why do they even audit our magazine, we have no income!
<Uplifting drums and violins music play in the background as CK and MM walk out straight in search of their next assignment>
Curtains
No mid/post credit, go home and sleep soon.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Categories
cinema cinema:english

SUIT UP!!

(In as many colors as possible)

Avengers (2012)

 

Avengers poster courtesy Mondo, yes it raacks!

Sometime during one of the hundred carefully and aesthetically choreographed action sequences, Phil Coulson (“since when is he Phil? His first name is Agent”, Tony Stark informs us) informs rather warily on his way to the end (oh no! spoilers) to the main antagonist Loki played to some exception by Tom Hiddleston that he (Loki) would never win because there was no conviction.

Well, that could apply to the rest of the costumed crusaders and the whole plot of Avengers, we all like them; but do we want them all the time? Simply put in more serious prose: What is the relevance of a hero in the absence of a crisis? The Avengers doesn’t deal with all that, since Marvel had already green-lighted the mega-project and only needed a skin of a story to work on. The skin provided by Joss Whedon is there, but we do not have time to pinch in further, only later these questions were realized whensome thinking was done beyond the CGI. Was an Assemble! Call really necessary to tackle an invading army brought out by Loki (simply put villain, otherwise put Shakespearean tragic anti hero with a brother problem). I mean haven’t these fellows (Iron Man, Captain America, The Hulk, Thor and others. Simply put: good guys, the heroes. Otherwise cannot be put.) have done those acts singularly in the past.

Tesseract, the cube of infinite energy is the item of contention as with the previous Marvel production of Captain America, Loki steals it right from Nick Fury in return of an army of Chitauri (more bad guys) which will lead directly to earthlings to be ‘free of freedom’. Comics and any literature often derided for inducing loss of reality states in its readers have always stayed on pace with real events, like how Avengers meanders through nuclear disarmament, energy crisis and the power of the people. But are these done just as a nod to reality or will these help in creating something in the public is a topic hardly discussed, not even by Arnab Goswami. Fiction follows fact only up to a point where it can fuel its own progress, in the end these are just plot elements.

Joss Whedon’s Avengers is not pretentious and gives what it exactly aims for: a proper summer blockbuster, only to maximize those electronic ticket printing sounds at the theatres and it does this cleverly by indulging in the main characters only if the events lead to a graphic fight and this type of approach not only is good to watch, does not mess with our head in any way, in plain sight, it is an enjoyable movie with right lines at the opportune moments. Dialog in superhero movies should be a separate PhD topic, there is just so much to observe.

There is no need to bother about acting in a film headlined by Robert Downey Jr, especially when he is joined by a shy and angry Mark Ruffalo, the heroic Chris Evans, and the visitor Chris Hemsworth, though I did expect a little more of chatter amongst them, all that is lost in the run up to the war.

The Marvel Cinematic Universe is a very theater friendly one, not only it has internal connections, there is also the happy fact that simply for watching the Avengers you would have to go through those told stories and the looming possibility of further individual films like Hulk.

Opinions on movies are mostly instantaneous, which makes it easy to proclaim that a/any movie is the most ‘awesomatic of the aaaromale’ superhero movie ever, but Avengers is not to be so. End of the day fans are happy and will sleep without fear that they are in the good hands of the Protectors of Planet Earth, ‘realists’ will nod in disbelief and continue to make feigned movies.

So Suit Up, you don’t need a reason to watch the movie, as they didn’t need one to make one.

The piece was written under the influence of a song fittingly called, “Tu Mera Hero” from the movie Desi Boyzz (yes two zees), close friends tell me it is the only good thing in the film.

Joss Whedon’s Avengers is now out on theatres, no good print available on net.