FRS: Bhoomi (2021)

So you all know what an FRS is right? Right?

Even before the Big Bang, there was agriculture

+25: For #JR25. Nandri Vanakkam. 

+12: a long time ago in a galaxy far far away types opening for this movie which opens in one corner of the universe and zooms in on planet earth, because the movie title is Bhoomi (earth), of course while the credits play.

+101: from the very first we know that Jeyam Ravi has actually done two world (bhoomi)changing things

  1. Help humans live using carbon dioxide instead of oxygen by inventing one mathirai (tablet) 
  2. Recreate Mars’ climate on earth and use it to grow plants.
Space X Samudayam

-11: That the movie will not choose to focus on the exciting stories behind these breakthroughs, tells a lot about the movie. 

+33: Director Lakshman’s screen credit comes immediately after Jeyam Ravi says, ‘give me one seed and I shall create a new world’ (whistle moments for fans of the director) 

-21: Movie missed the opportunity to name itself ‘Seed-an’ because most of it is about Bhoomi’s search for potent seeds only. Yes, the hero’s name is also Bhoomi, movie name is also Bhoomi, planet name is also Bhoomi. 

FRS Trivia Thagaval sponsored by Wikipedia 

Keen watchers will remember that Vijay’s name in Kaavalan is also Bhoomi 

+12: When American media asks, the hero will say that his hero is not a scientist or an inventor but a humble farmer from his hometown. 

Annadata -1, America- 0

+1776: NASA salaries are so good that Bhoomi can buy villa which is miga miga arugil to the Statue Of Liberty (ofc)

+101: NASA employee policies are so good that suddenly Bhoomi gets one month leave, just before a potentially universe changing mission.

-40: Said humble farmer is played by Thambi Ramiah, his screen duration can be immediately guessed based on the paavam face that he is having and the number of paavam family members in his house. 

Oops spoilers. 

-35: Heroine is a bayandha subhavam types, although this initially used as comedy material, this character trait is lost as the movie progresses. Boss why you introduce characteristics and then forget it mid-way.

-323: As usual, as is typical of Kolly thinker movies, officials, police, IAS officers and politicians are all bad people and have no redeeming qualities. So, obviously, all 4 make up the nasama villain set vs our NASA hero. 

+90: Hero displays scientific temper, wow Kolly thinkers! 

-90: Hero displays scientific temper in all the wrong things, like taking the strand of hair from the heroine and analysing it to find what emotions she was going through 

-41.2: Over the course of the movie, the hero loses the scientific part and only has the temper. 

-17.8: Movie runs around a bit before becoming the usual corporate is bad and zero sum game template, usual diet of Kolly thinkers. 

+14: Seems director is also subscribing to all the conspiracy video channels that some of the FRS writers are too, movie suddenly makes a turn to reveal the main villain as Richard Child (possible play on the Rothschild family) and 13 others who control everything in the world

Child is the father of the (bad) man group

+69: Bhoomi is also a worthy addition to the drone camera pandemic that is plaguing the Kolly industry, most of movie is in bird’s eye view 

For five minutes, movie also is shot like “Life of Ram” from 96 when Bhoomi and his schoolmate go in search of potent seeds from the tribes who live in the forest. Of course, they are still doing untouched agriculture.

-75: Rest of the movie is just Bhoomi vs Richard Child speaking to one another in slow voices over the mobile phone which in Kollywood is dubbed casually as “cat and mouse game”, only this game is not interesting only. 

+36: Something something happens and Bhoomi decides that he will be starting his own ‘farming corporate’ and now movie is about homemade cola companies vs foreign cola companies

-36: but earlier it was against corporate itself, but now suddenly they are okay with Indian companies that exploit agri lands, such water and pollute environment

Decide Bhoomi, who are you fighting??? 

-100: Bhoomi and his new brand, imaginatively titled “Tamizhan” will accept capital from Indian corporate houses, but will not strike a deal with them to use their distribution networks, but why? 

Men of culture, agriculture

Also why would you launch your brand across the country on the same day so that villain can easily cut-off/buy-off all your produce?

Other notable Kolly viruses ( segment sponsored by Chitra & Co ) 

Short term virus- it originated in the “one song la millionaire” trope, now it is extended to represent one montage le systemic change. 

Bhoomi is an immediate montage success and now all farmers want to be like him, so he even goes on a talk show to convince his fellow farmers, who are immediately….wait for it…convinced. 

Same virus reappears when Bhoomi wants to launch all products of the Tamizhan brand across the state on the same day (pongal) ! But why ? Can start in a region and then scale right? Looking at how customers react to your product etc? 

Maybe the director thinks that selling products and releasing movies are the same thing, we don’t know, just guessing. 

Like…never mind.

That brings us to the next virus, which is the identity virus, every battle is ultimately a battle to bring down the Tamil Identity. 

In Bhoomi, this is planned by Richard Child on a global scale and to much of Bhoomi’s advantage it is this virus that ultimately helps his cause. 

People will buy products just to save their Identity, quality of product and all no one will check? If it is from the Tamizhan brand then people will buy, it seems.

What if corporate guy is actually giving a good product at a low price? Are you guys gonna shun them just because he doesn’t share your identity? 

So many questions, but no answer from Kolly Thinkers. 

So many viruses in Kollywood, let’s chronicle some more in the FRSs to come. Chitra & Co is in no way responsible for the content, that they run a pharma business should not be of anyone’s concern etc disclaimer. 

-43: If you have read till here, you will probably be tired, just like how we felt after hearing the “Tamizhan Endru…” BGM for every act (in slow motion) that the hero does in the movie

-27: All songs whenever, wherever.

As we sat to compile more points, the FRS writers realized that the movie sneaked in a brand promotion for one of the veshti brands that the hero endorses. But since that is Indian corporate, it’s all allowed. 

Yeah so. 

All data and statistics are incidental and non-serious except the ones provided by our data analytics team in Pune

Subam.

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